วันอังคารที่ 2 สิงหาคม พ.ศ. 2554

The Zu mountain ranges in Sichuan

The Legend of Zu (2001)

'The Zu mountain ranges in Sichuan, China... It is said that elves and spirits live here. There are many legends in these parts. One of these are about immortals possessing supernatural powers. They fly on their swords, chase the wind and the stars.'

The Legend of Zu (also known as Zu Warriors) is a kind of remake of director Tsui Hark's own Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983), which I haven't seen, but I can only hope and imagine is far more digestible than this hunk of junk.

I feel the quote above is probably the most important quote in this entire film. Why? Because the quote is from the prologue and it's about as much of this film that is actually comprehensible.

Once the narrated prologue stopped and I was being introduced to characters and their situations, I began to struggle with understanding the film. I very rarely do this, but by the 10 minute mark, I was seriously contemplating stopping the film altogether. I just knew I was going to have a hard time understanding the rest of the film and bloody hell, I was right.

This film features such character names as Amnesia, Enigma and White Eyebrows. For reasons I couldn't follow, some sort of war breaks out involving a giant cloud (yes, really) and fights ensue with lots of flying and cartoonish CG.

I would be a little more forgiving of this film if 1) these fights were actually exciting to watch and 2) there were more of these genuinely exciting fights instead of disgusting attempts at throwing up what could be called 'story bits'. If you know or can imagine what it's like standing next to a full blender without a lid on, you're about half-way there.

What I mean by 'story bits' is essentially dialogue and 'story' scenes are thrown your way without any real clarity, purpose or even interest, and not only are you supposed to care, you're supposed to grasp what the hell is going on and its deeper meaning. You get this sense that Hark wants the film to mean something and to be a well told myth, but seriously, it's just a whole lot of visual wankery.

Sure, there are times when this movie is actually quite beautiful to look at, especially in the last 10 or so minutes, but while Hark is busy giving himself multiple manic orgasms over how many special effects he can over-stuff into 104 minutes, he completely lost me with his foul attempt at 'story-telling'. You know, that all important ingredient in narrative films.

The 'story-telling' (I use that term reluctantly here) wasn't just bad, it was down-right insulting. What? You think I'd be so distracted with the CG that I wouldn't notice your lack of story-telling here, Hark?

I'm honestly okay if some film-makers simply want to make a movie that comes across as a 'ride' or a bit of escapism, as I've long said that film-makers should be honest, know their film's best parts and flaunt those as much as possible. The problem with The Legend of Zu is that has no real good, let alone best parts to flaunt. The CG is cheap and I've already mentioned how boring the fight scenes are (despite being choreographed by Yuen Wo-Ping of The Matrix and countless other martial arts films). Cecilia Cheung looked quite beautiful, but she cannot save this atrocious mess.

If you have ever had a go at director Michael Bay and his films for similar 'style over substance' type reasons, I tell you, you have got to see this to know that there are indeed far worse things out there. In fact, I highly recommend it to those people for that reason alone. Much like Jigsaw's trap philosophy from the Saw series, I'm confident the torturous experience of The Legend of Zu will enlighten you to appreciate life and genuine attempts at entertaining film audiences.

Miraculously, I made it to the end of this film without ripping my face off, destroying my TV or cracking the DVD to pieces with a hammer. It's been a while since I've hated a film so much.

Take caution. There is only one rating for this film.

Rating: AILAP
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